Relationship Counseling

Have You Been Unlucky In Love?

Do you feel lonely and different from others?
Are you too afraid of rejection or embarrassment to pursue the relationship you want?
When you get in relationships, does it feel like they’re never happy or fulfilling?

Maybe your own feelings are making it hard for you to form healthy connections. Whenever you want to put yourself out there, an inner voice of melancholy or anxiety insists “Nobody finds me attractive” or “I dare not reach out.” But the less you reach out, the worse you feel. After a while, you may find yourself asking: Is there something wrong with me? Am I doomed never to find love? For the first time, you may be considering relationship counseling.

The Answer To Your Relationship Challenges May Be Right Under Your Nose

Sometimes relationship issues are subtle. You may be pushing people away without even meaning to. Perhaps you’re sending signals that you’re unavailable without realizing it. And when you find yourself drawn toward certain relationships, it may be because you’re trying to reënact failed relationships from your childhood.

The good news is that therapy can help you pick up on these patterns and understand why your relationship issues keep repeating themselves. Instead of presupposing that “nobody likes me,” “all men are narcissists,” or “all women are gold diggers,” therapy can help you work backwards. It can help you find the “common denominator” in your behavior and interactions, allowing you to uncover the deeper roots of your relationship struggles.

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All Of Us Fall Into Negative Relationship Patterns From Time To Time

Healthy relationships are hard to come by in contemporary life. The numbers do not lie—roughly 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, 67 percent of second marriages end in divorce, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. For many of us who grew up with divorced parents, it’s increasingly hard not to mirror the failed relationships we saw as children. Often, we find ourselves falling into the same patterns as our parents without realizing it.

When you struggle to achieve healthy relationships, it’s easy to blame yourself or to think that you’re the only one who feels the way you do. But the truth is that you’re not alone. We all fall into negative patterns and life scripts from time to time. What sets us apart is how we choose to deal with our patterns and scripts. With the right help and support, we can work toward the loving relationships we were designed for.

Counseling can help you sort through complex relationship problems and understand why you keep falling into the same patterns. Counseling is a chance to learn a new way of relating to others and reconnect with your inner strengths through a collaborative journey of self-discovery.

Counseling Can Help You Work Toward Deeper, More Meaningful Relationships

In psychotherapy, it is the relationship that heals. And as a relationship therapist, my goal is to provide you with a corrective emotional experience in which you finally get your needs met. If past relationships have always left you unfulfilled, counseling is an opportunity to experience the supportive connection you’ve always longed for.

With my help and support, you’ll learn new ways of connecting with others and explore how past connections didn’t work out. Together, we’ll look at early childhood relationships to understand why certain patterns have emerged in your life. For instance, if you grew up with a neglectful caregiver, you may suffer from fear of abandonment in your relationships. And if you had an overbearing caregiver, you might be confrontational with your significant other. Together, you and I will examine connections between the past and present.

My Approach To Relationship Therapy Is Rooted In The Power of Empathy

I will walk as many miles as necessary in your shoes. A critical component in my work is my own cognitive and emotional empathy. I will use my imagination to think about what it’s like to experience what you are going through, and emotionally, I focus on feeling your pain with you.

Empathy is a three-step process: to listen closely and wait for a person’s revelations, to watch for subsequent thoughts and actions, and to silently or on occasion verbally wonder about the implications of the possible revelations that lie ahead. In order to guide the development of therapy, both of us work together so that you can determine the meaning of your experience.

Beyond the practice of empathy, I “teach patients to fish” rather than “fishing for them.” I empower them to work toward the relationships they want. I always ask, “What do you do for recreation?” As trivial as it may sound, a block in someone’s life may be caused by the lack of independent pursuits which would connect them to like-minded people.

Finding your way toward independent interests can be a huge step in the healing process. I will help you define your own interests and values, ensuring that you have the tools you need to engage fully with others and make your own way in the world.

Through active listening, empathic support, and a psychodynamic approach to counseling, I’m confident that I can help you get to the bottom of your relationship issues and gain the confidence to find your partner.

You May Have Some Questions About Relationship Therapy…

Does therapy really work?

We all have choices. Some clients go to weekly sessions, stage a therapeutic dialogue without truly opening up, and keep to themselves. The alternative is to work shoulder to shoulder with me to examine your emotions and rediscover your strengths. It’s productive for someone who is ready for it.

How long will relationship counseling last?

Being in therapy is a little like leaving school: you can stop with a high school diploma, continue on to college, or even earn a graduate or post-graduate degree. And you can take a break for months or years before going from one stage to the next.

Treating the causes beneath the symptoms requires consistent dedication, but your symptoms really do improve along the way. The time frame for healing deep-seated wounds and realizing one’s inner potential varies. Nothing is written in stone, and a four-month process for one may be a multi-year journey for another.

Doesn’t going to therapy mean that I’m weak?

Actually, it means you have the strength to face the facts.

Nobody is perfect, and it’s easy to feel alienated by your issues when nobody around you is talking about their own. It’s also easy to wish you had been born differently, or to fantasize about reversing every decision you regret. The desire to move forward and work for stability in your life, on the other hand, is a sign of the strength needed for self-renewal.

Experience The Healing Power Of Connection Through Therapy

If you want to overcome your loneliness and experience deeper, more meaningful relationships, I encourage you to pursue counseling with me. To get started, you can call me at 504-219-1446. I try my best to answer every phone call.

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