Narcissistic abuse is a form of domestic violence where the abuser uses manipulation, gaslighting, and other toxic behaviors to exert power and control over the victim.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. One minute, they show you affection and compliments; the next, they criticize and demean you. They blame you for their problems, demand constant praise and admiration, and make you feel like you’re never good enough.

The abuse is often subtle at first but escalates over time. The worst part is they will deny any wrongdoing and make you feel like the abuse is your fault. The warning signs of narcissistic abuse are not always obvious. But feeling fearful, anxious, or worthless around your partner is a major red flag.

No one deserves to feel that way in a loving relationship. There is hope and healing after narcissistic abuse — there are tools and resources available to get you the help you need. Here are some telltale signs of narcissistic abuse.

Common Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships

Unfortunately, these signs aren’t always apparent in the early stages of dating. As the relationship progresses, however, you may start to notice some troubling behaviors that point to narcissistic abuse.

Lack of Empathy 

Narcissists lack empathy for others and are unwilling to recognize their partner’s needs or emotions. They dismiss the feelings and concerns of their partner, showing little compassion or remorse for their actions.

Constant Criticism

Narcissists frequently criticize and belittle their partners in private and public. They pick apart their partner’s appearance, intelligence, parenting skills, and more. This constant criticism chips away at your self-esteem, making you easier to control.

Gaslighting

This is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist makes you question your memory, perception, or judgment. They deny that events happened when they did, accuse you of being “too sensitive,” or suggest you misremember the situation. Over time, gaslighting can make you dependent on the narcissist to determine what is real.

Lack of Boundaries

Narcissists do not respect personal boundaries and feel entitled to your time, emotions, money, and more. They demand to know where you are, who you’re with, and how long you’ll be gone. They also freely borrow money or make expensive purchases without repaying or consulting you.

Isolate You From Friends and Family

Narcissists try to isolate their partners from outside support. They accuse people who care about you of not having your best interests at heart. This is a way to control and manipulate you. Don’t let them exclude you from people who love and support you.

Blame You for Their Problems

Narcissists never take responsibility for their actions. Any mistakes or shortcomings they have are blamed on others. You become their scapegoat, and they blame you for things that aren’t your fault. Over time, you may also blame yourself for their issues.

Have Unrealistic Expectations

Narcissists believe they are unique and entitled to privileges others don’t have. They expect people to go out of their way to make them happy and meet their every need. They become angry or apathetic towards you when you fail to meet their unrealistic expectations.

Demand Constant Praise and Admiration

Narcissists need constant compliments and admiration. They expect you to praise them endlessly for their achievements and attributes. They become angry or dismissive if you don’t give them the praise they crave.

Now you know what narcissistic abuse looks like in a relationship and the red flags to watch out for. Don’t ignore those gut feelings that tell you something isn’t right. You deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and respect. Trust yourself, and remember, you always have options. If something feels off, pay attention. Speaking with a therapist can help you recognize the unhealthy and abusive patterns in your relationship. If you or someone you know are suffering at the hands of narcissistic abuse, contact our offices today to set up an appointment for couples therapy.