You and your partner have always gotten along well, except in politics. While you’re passionate about your views, your partner feels just as strongly about theirs, and you often find yourselves arguing whenever the subject comes up. The constant tension has put a strain on your relationship. But the political season is ramping up, and things will only get more heated in the coming months. How can you keep your relationship strong when you don’t see eye to eye politically? Read on to learn tips for navigating this tricky situation with your partner.

Discussing Politics

Talk It Out, But Gently

The best approach is open, honest communication. But go into these conversations with empathy, caring, and compassion. Yelling or insulting will only make the situation worse. Instead, use “I” statements, like “I feel concerned when we disagree on issues that matter to me.” Listen to understand their perspective, too.

Focus on Listening

Listen to understand their views and concerns. Ask open-ended questions to make sure you comprehend their stance fully. Try restating what they said in your own words to confirm you have it right. Don’t wait for your turn to talk — that will likely lead to more arguing rather than a productive discussion.

Set a Constructive Tone

Agree to have a respectful dialogue, not a debate. Frame the conversation around sharing different perspectives to gain understanding, not proving each other wrong. Take a breather if emotions start running high. Revisit the discussion once you’ve cooled off and re-center on listening and finding common ground.

Setting Boundaries Around Political Discussions

In politics, having views different from your partner’s can lead to tensions. Set some ground rules around political discussions to avoid arguments and hurt feelings.

Agree to Disagree

Accept that you won’t see eye to eye on everything. Make a pact to respect each other’s opinions even if you disagree with them. Say something like, “We have different views, and that’s ok. I still value you and your perspective.” This can help take the personal sting out of disagreements.

Avoid Criticism

Criticizing your partner’s political opinions will likely spark resentment and conflict. Instead of attacking their views, focus on explaining your perspective. Use “I” statements like, “I see things differently because…” or ask open-ended questions to promote understanding.

Limit Debate Time

Set a time limit for political discussions to prevent them from dragging on or becoming heated. For example, limit debates around current events to 20 or 30 minutes. When time’s up, agree to table the discussion until another day. Take a break to do an enjoyable activity together, like dinner or watching a movie.

Declare Certain Topics Off Limits

If there are certain polarizing issues you know you’ll never see eye to eye on, consider making them off-limits for debate. For example, you might agree not to discuss abortion or gun rights. That way, you can avoid constantly rehashing the same arguments without resolution.

Finding Common Ground 

You and your partner can still find common ground despite differing political views. Focus on your values and priorities rather than specific policies or candidates. For example, you care about security, freedom, community, and fairness. Discuss how those values shape your perspectives. Look for areas where your views overlap or don’t directly contradict each other.

Compromise When You Can

On some issues, you can meet in the middle. For example, you might agree to disagree on some topics while uniting behind more moderate or bipartisan policies on others. Be willing to acknowledge valid points on both sides and find compromises that respect each other’s perspectives.

During political season, it’s easy to let differences of opinion strain your relationship. Respect each other’s right to hold different views. And set some ground rules about how much political talk is productive. Most importantly, remember you’re on the same team; nothing, not even politics, should separate you. 

If you are having difficulty reconciling your political differences, individual or couples therapy may help. Contact our office today to set up your first appointment.