Business conflicts can make your work life stressful.

But family business conflicts can make your whole life miserable if you’re not careful.

Do you have a plan to keep your marriage safe?

To keep family business conflicts in their proper realm, intentionality and consistency are vital. When these two qualities are in place, they will help partners protect the needs of their business and the safe haven of their home.

You can develop a clear method for limiting the influence of business conflicts on your household in the following ways:

Set Priorities: Decide that your marriage and family come first.

Family business conflicts have a way of taking over. Personal attacks mix with disagreements about marketing strategies. Orders and shipments are mishandled when  partners use the silent treatment. Other family members may take sides in disputes; they may want to engage you, or even divide you, to score points at work or at home.

As a married couple, make a concerted and direct effort to protect your home base. Communicate to other family members that business matters will be addressed at work only. Keep each other accountable by keeping the lines of communication open at work. Discuss your feelings and how you can support each other regardless of the outcome of the dispute.

Establish Boundaries: Set limits where you can.

Boundaries between family and business are key to preserving marital peace. They are important for maintaining a healthy perspective so that the emotions, loyalties, and the demands of working with loved ones don’t end up at your dinner table every night.

Keep personal conflicts at home and business conflicts at work.

Determine that business is conducted away from home. It’s important that business conversations not overwhelm the personal conversations and responsibilities of your home life.

A wise course of action may be to set a dividing line between home and work, too. Drive home separately from work to give yourselves time and space to switch gears. Turn off the smartphones, tablets, and laptops after you arrive home. Actively take steps to put business and home tasks, responsibilities, and communication in their respective places.

If you find yourself tempted to bring marital conflicts from home to the workplace, consider that the success of your business may be compromised by the bad impressions that investors, partners, vendors, customers, or even employees may form when they begin to question the professionalism of your business practices.

Expertise: Consult with a family business management counselor and expert.

It’s okay to ask for help. You’ve taken on a lot. Productively managing emotionally charged conflicts at your family business, without dumping that emotion on each other, requires communication tools and conflict resolution skills you may not yet have.

A family business and relationship counselor can help your family do the following:

• Learn to deal with each other honestly and professionally without fear of responses rooted in personal histories.

• Identify and understand the origin and nature of family business conflicts.

• Respond to feedback receptively and establish  leadership and the division of labor based on abilities instead of family roles or assumptions.

Gaining an objective, proactive advocate may take the burden off you and your spouse to solve problems or support a family member’s position.

Policies: Construct a management structure meant especially to resolve business conflicts.

Construction of specific policies or job descriptions for conflict resolution may be wise.

Your marriage, and those of your family members, will benefit from the establishment of an organizational structure to prevent or resolve business conflicts. Concerned parties can examine problems and apply agreed upon standards of resolution using the organizational structure.

As a rule, choose to keep your conversations about business with family members inside the office. Acknowledge the need for discussion and resolution but honor the privacy and peace of the home.

Your marriage and those of your family members will benefit greatly.

If you’d like to learn more about how therapy for couples who work together can help you keep business conflicts out of the home, please contact me.