You think you need relationship help. In fact, you’re pretty sure of it. So you asked your partner to find time in her schedule for couples counseling.

She didn’t agree.

What can you do? Are you simply supposed to continue on, the way things are? To drift away from each other, to fight, or to allow silence to eat away at what’s left of your love?

Of course not. If you believe you need relationship help, you can get it. Even if you have to do it alone.

How Can Couples Counseling For One Help You?

Couples counseling for just one half of a couple? That’s right. There’s a lot still to be gained by sorting through the dynamics of your relationship on your own. That includes communication, interactions, and behavior.

Though you’d like to know that your partner sees the value of working through your problems together, she may not yet trust the therapy process. But you can still get the ball rolling. By understanding the way you both deal with each other, as well as your own perceptions of the relationship, you can achieve the following ends:

• You can learn new ways of relating to your partner without her presence in therapy sessions.

• You can learn to shape behavior with positive reinforcement.

• You can learn new and more effective ways to solve or reduce problems with your spouse.

Couples Counseling for One helps you see yourself more clearly and improve your relationship by studying and changing your own behavior:

• You can learn to draw your partner in by simply changing the things that you say and do not say to  her.

• Couples counseling for one can help you learn to identify and seize opportunities for praise and encouragement. You may find that your tendency to make repeated requests, or to criticize, is an unproductive part of your communication style.
• You can gain a clearer perspective regarding causes and accountability. Working with a therapist might help you realize that you’ve come to see your spouse or partner as the problem, and lost sight of the greater probability–that the contribution to your relationship problems is shared.

How Can Couples Counseling For One Help Your Spouse?

You may notice that your internal changes help facilitate change in your partner. Our choices affect others and inspire a response. For better or for worse. Allow counseling to help improve your odds of a better outcome. You may see these things happen:

• Less focus on your spouse may actually be your best chance of engaging her in the process. She may want to come and see and hear for herself what’s going on.

• Even if she never participates in counseling, she may feel more inclined to work on the relationship when your attitude toward her appears improved or softened by your own therapeutic work.

• Your improved ability to cope with the difficulties in your union may result in a less frustrating, less reactive partner.

To get the relationship help you need, do your best not to get in your own way. Resist making some common mistakes in an effort to get your partner to attend couples counseling:

• Avoid making counseling attendance the ultimate gauge of your future together. Ultimatums usually don’t work out in the end.

• Avoid making counseling attendance the ultimate gauge of your partner’s love for you. Overt manipulation rarely sits well.

• Avoid making assumptions about her counseling attendance. There may be a deeper reason than you realize regarding her reluctance. Try to keep an open mind.

Relationship help can still be obtained if both of you remain committed to each other, and if you yourself are willing to do your part to change. Use counseling time to pay attention to your own issues and extend to your partner a bit more grace. Soon you will see the benefits of Couples Counseling for One, and may enjoy the happier relationship you long for.

Click here to learn more about Couples Therapy For One and my practice in Metairie, Louisiana